My Return/My Last Post

A mildly important event took place this evening, I got my Google account back from the hacker who had hijacked it. I dont even feel pissed at him for doing it now....i'm just relieved to have recovered some very important mails that were in the inbox of that account.

>Some mails that i truly cherished from my closest friend(s)
>My old contact list..which wasnt THAt important but ehh
>My confirmation mail from ETS for the GRE examination.(I was getting pretty worried actually..i just realized the importance of that mail a few days back and decided to take quick action)
>Subscriptions to useless job portals who havent helped me one bit..but their mails were still appreciated.....(pause)...NOT!
>SATYAM Offer letter...which again, not as important, but appreciated none the less...

Well thats it really...
I'll be using the salvaged(so to speak) account sparingly from now on...seeing that its been "tainted" and all..but i'll keep checking the inbox frequently.

This will also be "My Last Post" on http://insaneinso.blogspot.com and all further posts will be on http://insomniaprevails.blogspot.com...not that you give a flying rats ass...

Munshi you bitch! what you did after i lost my "preccccciousss" account was totally uncalled for...but i wouldn't have expected any less of you...same goes for Manas too...you Je#!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones...but words will hurt forever" - JD said it on Scrubs..but i think someone a lot less gay came up with that..

So long old blog...you have been good to me..in times of happiness and sorrow as well...
[This will be posted on both blogs...just because...]

His Irony

I was given the rights to co-author on this blog by my very dear and unfortunate friend dAtta, but now by some strange twist of fate , he himself can't access his blog and his account and on the other hand as u all can see i can continue posting on this very blog as i am doing right now.

Life is funny.

My Queries

Here are some questions in life to which i'm YET to find an answer to:

• How, people that have scored 110 on the TOEFL(new format), still say "Dont become tensed"
• Why, people in the craziest of hurries, STOP and yell at the biker who cut them off, for 10 minutes even after hes long gone...
• Why there is a discussion about "Foreign Coach" and Indian Coach...whatever happened to Good Coach/Bad Coach?
• Why ANYONE would make/go to watch a film with Himesh as the lead...WHY??
• How its STILL the BIGGEST news that roads in Mumbai are blocked/water-logged in the monsoon...
• What the hell is Education Cess?? and why do i have to pay it on my cellphone bill!!
• Why Kalam wont run for president again
• How come the McLaren hasnt stalled even ONCE this season?
• Why did Michael Schumacher retire??
• Why there isnt an Invisible mode on gtalk?
• Has anyone on Orkut EVER responded to "i want to do friendship with u. do u friendship with me plz...?"
• Why they bother to make a film like Awarapan...when they could just as easily make a killing on the music album with the same songs(Hashmi and Himesh...theres no escape from them is there??)
• Why time goes by so quickly when your having fun, and slowly when you are not?(This Relativity crap sucks ass)
• When will i ever learn to just let go of all the crazy things that occupy my mind...when???

My Infinite Abyss

This title just popped into my mind. Havent blogged in a while and my previous post was...well substandard to say the least(even by my low standards). I'm saying this so you dont expect an improvement from me. No expectations no disappointments...you know.
I've been away from my house for a few days now and quite frankly i dont miss it. What i do miss is my friend, my computer and my bike...in that particular order.
I've been thinking a lot about the future lately...which is weird because i've never ever worried about it before. But this isolation of sorts from the people and places i had gotten used to sort of puts things into perspective. Its been barely 12-13 days since exams got over and SO much for me has changed in these days. My daily routine, getting up and sleeping times and even food habits, and environment. Mind you, everything has changed for the best if seen from a strictly objective point of view, but it still pisses me off to no end!
My sleeping habits have improved and i have been healthier as compared to before. I'm even getting some exercise on account of not having the bike at my disposal. I've also been reading a lot and studying a little(For the Graduate Record Exam) . The MOST annoying thing though is that i havent had synchronous communication in a while...that sounded nerdy as hell i know but i know someone will understand. Plus i've started to hate this word UNDERSTAND. It has become the new "Sorry" and is exploited like hell these days.
"Please understand...", "I understand...", "you'll never understand..."

Ok i think i'm rambling now. Getting back to the point. This 'experience' so to speak or this 'opportunity' as my parents are describing it as, may well go on to benefit my academic future, but its fucking with my head! I feel trapped in this place. Theres no compulsion to study as such...but the expectation from me is pretty daunting. I had hoped that time would fly and i'd be over with the preparations and exam in no time...but here every second is an eternity. Plus the support i used to have during my university preparation is non-existent, everyone else is doing something else and i feel totally lost and alone.

Enough self pity for now. There ARE certain things i've learnt in my time here in Ahmedabad.
1. People think that the horn is somehow connected to the accelerator and the vehicle cannot go forward unless the horn is pressed simultaneously with the accelerator.
2. People dont appreciate it very much when you go "Oh Fuck" in public places when Himesh Reshammiya song comes on.
3.People get annoyed if you admit to the fact that you donot like(infact hate) GURU, Abhisek, Aiswaria...

Bye for now...later looserzzz

My Arbitrary Post

9th JUNE...beautiful day, just beautiful, a day that will live in infamy!
The last exam was nothing special...but i'm just so glad that it was the LAST one...i've totally gotten over the fact that i mildly screwed it up ;)
After the paper, i went to Galeria with a few friends and had mediocre chinese food....but it was so good to just sit there in the food court and talk.And by talking i mean the kind of conversation that you have when you dont have to worry about whether the next paper would be as bad as the last one, or whether the invigilator is gonna let you steal that glance at the answer paper in front of you...
Being through with engineering exams feels like nothing i've felt before. One of the reasons may be the fact that i've never ever before been done with my engineering exams...
Anyhoo i've got nothing else to write right now....dont feel like it at all. Infact i'm getting bored typing this very line, this very word..i think i'm so bored by typing that i'm just gonna stop midway into a sente

My Flawed Perspective/ My Aftermath

The total absence on guilt baffles me.
I royally screwed up the System Security paper. I was goofing off all day and night on 21st. The realization was there...i HAD to study...or at least read the subject matter more than once -- after all I'm not fucking stupid...or at least no THAT fucking stupid -- but i didn't. I cost me more than 3 answers in todays paper.
Up here though...in my head, it means nothing at all. The results are gonna depress the hell outta me i'm sure, but the immediate effects are non-existent. No Guilt on No remorse.

I put things into perspective...and found that i'm not ever gonna be able to score a distinction aggregate for the last year, owing of course to the nightmare that was 7th semester exams. Plus i'm already above first class for the entire engineering course...unless i screw up REALLY bad in the 8th sem(fuck i cant believe i just thought of something so messed up!). I DID have a consolation percentage in mind in the beginning of the 8th semester for the aggregate...but seeing how todays paper went...the chances have slimmed down a little now.

Then theres this instinct, i think the most primal one...to kick ass and be a man. No sexism implied, but everyone has this instinct male or female. And i'll be damned if i dont follow it.
FUCK IT! fuck percentages and fuck the term work and vivas! fuck engineering altogether!
Theres 3 papers more to go...and then i'll be free from this nightmare. So thats what i'm gonna do, face the papers ahead like a man with all the conviction and confidence( and proper time management of course) and try to knock them outta the park, to give my best and consequences be damned!
I think i'll go to sleep now...tomorrow we start MultiMedia Systems.

My Funeral Holiday

The guilt and self loathing is getting to me. Since preparatory leave is on and i've barely covered any of the portion in any of the four subjects, i've decided that studying should occupy most of my time. This would mean that ill have to say away from my vices...namely orkut and movies.
This addiction should have been remedied long time ago...but since it has not been, i've planned to take some action(this will not be the first time i'm saying/writing this).
Step 1: REALIZATION
A few days back i got an HDD full of movies and tv series(House MD) from a friend of mine. that night, as any other night, i left my comp on for no particular reason, only to find that the voltage stabilizer had burnt out overnight. Ofcourse i didnt know this at first and simply assumed that the SMPS had finally given up due to its constant operation. So that whole day i couldnt start my comp, let alone listen to any songs or go online. The same day...in the evening i realised the possibility that the computer may not be damaged at all. I checked the stabilizer and replaced it with a flex box...and in no time i was on the comp and online as well.
Step 2: RESOLVE
That day taught me something...that i couldn't quit this addiction cold turkey...just by force of will or even by force of circumstance. I needed to wean myself off this terrible affliction.
MODERATION was the solution. Only on the comp for a very small amount of time and online for even a lesser duration.
Then of course there was the question of the Movies. So many films! and none that i could dedicate my time to without feeling like a complete loser afterwards. For this i thought i would only see them in parts...you know for 10-20 minutes or so...and then get back to studies.
This was a decision i made three days ago...and so far I've been able to see only 25 minutes of Four Weddings and a Funeral and 15 minutes of The Holiday.
Bloody Hell! I should have known...if movies were supposed to be seen in moderation, in durations of 10-15 minutes at random times..people wouldn't spend millions of dollars making the said films and others wouldn't bother watching them anyway!
So i'm stuck now...cant study because its starting to mess with my head...the paragraphs are all converging and it all seems like i'm trying to cram the whole fucking book in my tiny little brain. Also i cant sit on the comp for more than half an hour without feeling guilty as hell.
IT SUCKS TO BE ME...and then some.

9th June has officially been declared as Independence day by ME...the king of all thats boring and awful. 25 days to go.